Lady Gaga turned heads�as�she left her hotel and headed over to the local Starbucks in Los Angeles on Sunday�(May 29).� The pop icon is breaking records, as usual, with the release this week�of her newest album, Born This Way.���
But regardless of all of the awards and fans, Gaga said in a recent interview with Time Out, she still feels like a loser.� She attributes this to bullies she encounter years earlier.
Here is an excerpt from the interview:
�What did you find out about yourself in writing these songs?
That being bullied stays with you your whole life, and no matter how many people are screaming your name or how many Number One hits you have, you can still wake up and feel like a loser.
Don?t you consider your success a massive ?piss off!? to the bullies?
Well, in order for me to be successful? In order to be a great artist ? musician, actor, painter, whatever ? you must be able to be private in public at all times. That is what we do.
I mean, I could elaborate? [Miniature pause while she pretends she might not elaborate...] Unless I am both capable of and willing to reopen the wound every time I write a song, if I choose to not look inside myself to write music, I?m really not worth being called an artist at all.
Who was your worst bully at school?
[Looks a bit wobbly] I? see? her? in my head. [Stops looking wobbly] There were a lot of bullies. You have to open the wound and pour salt and arsenic and poison in that wound and you must get out a needle and poke and prod then sew it back up again. And when I?m handed a beat that sounds amazing, that beat is the scissors, and then I cut the wound I?ve just sewn up, and I go back in. I go back in and I ask myself the same questions again and again and again: why am I here?
And the answer is?
Because I MUST be here. Because I know it is my purpose to be an artist, but I have to go back over and over that wound, being bullied, feeling insecure, all things that recurred in my childhood and continue to recur through my career. You can?t look me in the eye and tell me I?m one of them: I know I?m not. And I never will be.
One of ?them?? Who are ?they??
The in-crowd. Right? I don?t really want to be one of them, yet it [the bullying] affected me so deeply that I have to go in over and over and over again to write music.
You can find the rest of the interview at Time Out.